The walls in my stairwell at home are covered with a photo collage of my husband with some of the best fish he ever caught. The photos cover over a 30-year span and represent locations all over the world. However, in every single photo, Jack is wearing the very same enormous smile, ecstatic and completely full of joy—I call it his “fish face.”
This photo collection always impresses our visitors, anglers and non-anglers alike. For us, it was a memory wall of some of Jacks’ and my favorite times…some together, some individually. He loved to “walk down memory lane” each day at home and remember the amazing adventures he’d had. Since Jack’s passing, that wall of photos has come to mean so much more to me.
Amidst the raw pain of losing Jack, I’ve tried to focus on what we can learn from how he lived. Jack had a “magic” about him. He had an energy that was joyful, kind, and fun-loving that was infectious to all he interacted with, even if only for a few minutes. He stayed in touch with friends from childhood, and made new friends almost every day. Jack lead or inspired so many of these friends on outdoor adventures (some planned, many spontaneous) that usually became some of the more precious memories of those that were game to join him. Jack always had great stories to tell; and most of his stories were from travel or an outdoor sport of some sort. Most of the best memories I have of the outdoor adventures with Jack are highlighted with deep guttural laughter that only the best of friends can draw out of you. These memories are also full of awe and wonder for the beautiful creations in nature…an amazing mountain, a fresh clear river, a secret coral reef, a giant shady tree, a minute flower growing at an altitude that seems impossible. To me, these are some of the best things life has to offer: the mind-blowing beauty of nature, the blessing that it is to get out and enjoy it, and the opportunity to share it with others we love to create happy memories together.
Now, when I look at our beloved fishing photos, I see that enormous smile on Jack’s face and to me, that “fish face” represents the best of life. It represents being present, in the moment. It represents pure joy and exhilaration. It represents the awe of creation and nature. It represents finding a way to feel happy and free, no matter your circumstances. It represents the importance of sharing those experiences with others. These things are what I have learned from Jack, and what he spread to others through his “Jack magic.”
These “fish face” lessons are what I had in mind when we founded the Live Like Jack Fund. I want the Live Like Jack Fund to help others experience these things; I want to help others find their “fish face”. Not everyone will have a fish face like Jack of course. Some may find that they have a “mountain-top face,” or a “whitewater rapid face” or a “birding face” or a “sailing face,” or any other sort that represents that pure joy brought out when one has amazing experiences outdoors. The way to find your “fish face” is bring along those you love and experience all the outdoors has to offer.
Recently, Live Like Jack Fund helped sponsor the Family and Youth Casting Call, which is a non-profit organization that teaches kids to get ‘hooked on fishing’. Late in the afternoon at the event, on a warm summer day in June, only the most tenacious kids were still out trying to hook their first fish. I happened to pause at a place on the shoreline where two boys appeared disappointed that they hadn’t caught anything. Their patient and dedicated volunteers stayed the course, kindly helping them untangle their lines again and again while repeating their careful instructions they had been trying at all day.
I struck up a quiet side conversation with the organizer of the event, who mentioned to me that these two brothers had just tragically lost their father. That all-too familiar lump filled my throat immediately as I could identify with their loss. My heart hurt for them as I thought about the harsh and intense sadness that their father’s death must have brought these young boys at such a young age. Unlike my son, these boys were old enough to fully understand their father’s death and feel the enormity of their loss. I ached for them as I wondered about what their experience had been like, how their life would change, and the many unanswerable questions that accompany such a tragic loss.
Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by the burst of “FISH ON!” by the squealing younger brother. The tug on his line made everyone jump into action. Finally! A bite! The volunteers rushed to help him reel it in. “Please stay on the line,” I said to myself, as if I could will that fish to hang on. The excitement built as the little boy reeled and squealed with anticipation. He got one! That fish came flapping out of the water and with it, a smile stretching clear from ear to ear—his little face illuminated and all teeth. He was completely joyful and present in that moment, and he had the “fish face” to prove it. He giggled, jumped up and down, and posed for silly pictures with the fish. He hugged his brother, who then proceeded to catch his first fish and find his fish face just a few minutes later. They were elated! They were in the moment! They were in awe! They were experiencing pure joy like only the outdoors can provide, and undoubtedly hooked on fishing.
This is what it I want to give to kids, I thought. This is what Jack did for his friends and family. He helped us discover our fish faces. This is a beautiful legacy for Jack.
If the Live Like Jack Fund can help children find their fish faces, we will be bringing them a type of joy that they will always remember…a type of joy that makes for great life stories…a type of joy that is pure and honest… a type of joy that they can rediscover no matter what life throws at them…a type of joy that is filled with gratitude…a type of joy that can give them self confidence and can teach them to respect themselves, respect nature, and respect others. This is what I mean when I say I want to Live Like Jack.
By: Lauren Bauer
*please click here to donate and help others find their “fish face”